Demon
by plumbloom
Summary: Sawako is shocked at the prospect of yet another friend confessing to her; but even then, it's not what she expected. shoujo-ai, oneshot.


"_[If I had to fight for someone I like], I might turn into a demon."_

Kuronuma Sawako's recent life had been a whirlwind of events – confusing, upsetting, exciting. In the midst of the rumors and rivalry, she had placed a great deal of faith in the steady, unchanging natures of Yoshida Chizuru and Yano Ayane, her closest friends and most staunch supporters.

Thus she was taken completely by surprise one afternoon when she was approached by a worried and clearly unsettled Chizu. Sawako had completed her after-school duties and was retrieving her things from her locker. Chizu had met her on her way from practice, and was so perspiring lightly as they walked a little ways from the school grounds to sit in a patch of withered grass near the fence. The afternoon was gray and unfriendly, the sun completely blocked out by clouds. As they sat, Sawako noted that Chizu's usually relaxed and open face was as closed and clouded as the sky. Before she could inquire, however, Chizu blurted out:

"There's someone I like."

Sawako's eyes widened. _Another person, confessing to me?_ _At least I know her confession can't be as surprising as Kurumi's. _Settling her hands on her knees, she tried to look reassuring. "That's wonderful, Yoshida-san."

"Yeah." Something seemed wrong. From the way Chizu's eyes were darting around, and the nervous way she clutched at the hem of her shirt, she seemed almost…nauseous. Or guilty. Sawako nibbled on her lower lip, trying to think of the best way to manage the situation.

"I-is there something wrong? Did Sanada-kun reject you?"

Now Chizu looked startled. "Ryu?" Finally her face relaxed, and she began to laugh, albeit bitterly. "That guy? You can't be serious."

"But…" Sawako cut herself off as she remembered Ryu's request not to mention his feelings to Chizu or anyone else. "Then who could it be?"

The taller girl did not seem to register her question. Instead, she drew her knees up, her eyes focused somewhere in the distance. Looming in the distance, with the opaque gray sky behind it, their school had become quieted and dark, a foreboding figure. Most of the students had gone home for the day. They sat in silence for some time, before Chizu ventured,

"If there was someone that you liked…but they were going out with someone else…what would you do, Sadako?"

"Me?" Sawako shook her head. "I don't really know anything about complicated things like that."

"Really?" Absently Chizu used her sleeve to wipe her forehead, then stared at the damp splotch she had created. "But you could guess at what you would do."

"I guess…I would respect their choices, especially if I liked them very much. Even if it was very difficult. And when the time came, I would let them know how I felt."

Chizu nodded, but did not seem to absorb the information; she at least looked more distracted than disturbed, however, and Sawako was glad of it.

"Maybe…Yano-san would be more helpful." Sawako's face brightened as she meditated on the possibility. "She knows much more about boys and dating than I do, definitely."

Her reply was quick and curt. "No."

"…No?" Surprised again, Sawako leaned forward, as if to better understand what her friend was trying to communicate.

"There's no way I can tell her," Chizu said, firmly. Her earlier gloom seemed to have settled back upon her.

"But you and Yano-san are so close! You have a great relationship – "

"It's not possible. Just leave it." The taller girl half-snapped at her dark-haired friend, but upon seeing Sawako's hurt expression and immediate withdrawal, she immediately relented, apologizing quickly: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, OK, Sadako?"

Nodding hesitantly, Sawako asked, "Did I say something to upset you?"

Chizu sighed. "No. It's not your fault. It's…it's because…"

Sawako listened patiently.

"Ayane-chan is the person that I like."

A pause while a stiff breeze stirred the grass. Sawako tilted her head to the side a bit, now feeling not hurt, but confusion. "I like Yano-san too. And she likes both of us very much, I think; she's said so before."

Shaking her head again, vehemently this time, Chizu unfolded her arms and thrust them out, palm up, for emphasis. "No. Sadako – I _like_ Ayane."

Another pause. Sawako struggled to grasp Chizu's meaning, her mind racing, until it finally _clicked_. Sawako drew in her breath as she looked with new eyes at Chizu's helpless profile, as if seeing her for the first time. The girl's face was unreadable except for tension between her eyebrows, drawing them together; her small, slitted eyes were drawn half-closed, like a cat's, and her thin legs jutted out awkwardly from her body. Slowly, afraid she was making another error in judgment, Sawako tried again. "You mean that you have…romantic feelings? For Yano-san?"

Chizu flinched a little, lowering her head. "Yes."

"O-oh." Now Sawako was definitely seeing her in a different light. She thought of all the times she'd seen them together, close as sisters, laughing, teasing, confiding. The way that Ayane would glance knowingly at Chizu, and the latter would grin in embarrassment, blushing and rubbing her head. Had it been this way all along, or was it something that had changed recently? Either way, Sawako realized, with Ayane's college boyfriend, Chizu had probably been upset about it for some time.

Interpreting her silence as disapproval, Chizu gestured helplessly and shifted as if to rise. Her tone was flat and dead. "Sorry to have bothered you. I'd better get going."

"Chizu-chan. Wait." Impulsively Sawako reached out and grasped her wrist. Astonished, Chizu halted, and they sat in silence for a minute. Sawako gathered her faculties about her, trying desperately to think of the right thing to say.

"Chizu-chan – well – I don't know much about this kind of thing, but…you're my friend, and…I want to be here for you. I'm glad that you told me. Please don't worry about anyone else knowing your feelings. I can keep them between us." Sawako returned her hand to her lap, somewhat nervously.

Her breath quickening slightly in surprise, Chizu asked, "You're not freaked out, or mad, or…?"

"Well, I guess I am a little surprised. Very surprised, actually." She thought again of Ayane, her somehow outrageous manner, tough and cool and _adult_ and then tried to imagine her being held, being kissed by Chizu, and nearly cried out in shock at the very image. Gathering herself, she continued, "But the most important thing is that I'm your friend, and that means caring for and accepting you as much as I can."

"Sadako…thanks. You're a good friend." Though Chizu didn't look up, her words were full of emotion. Sawako nodded, even though the taller girl could not see it.

"So...now what? Are you going to tell Yano-san?"

"How can I? She has a boyfriend." Chizu shook her head. "It'll just make her upset." Seeming to snap out of her foggy state, she looked directly at Sadako and smiled, for the first time that afternoon. "It helped just to talk to you about it. Thank you, Sadako."

Sawako nodded, thinking that the number of secrets she was keeping were increasing by the day, and feeling both intimidated and honored by the prospect. "Of course."

***

A cloudy city night. The streets were damp from the previous day's rain, and the sound the cars made as they raced through the puddles was somehow louder than Ayane could account for. The cool air nipped at her skin through her thin sweater as she stopped, stretching her arm out to flag down a taxi and attempting to ignore her (now ex) boyfriend. They'd been having dinner and a conversation about their future when she'd revealed to him that she thought it best if they broke up, and he had stormed out. Now the only thing she was concerned with was getting home. In her purse, her cell phone buzzed, but she didn't check it, more concerned with hailing a taxi.

"I love you, Ayane! How could you do this to me?"

"Look, it's not anything I'm doing to you in particular. This isn't working out, and I just don't think we should see each other anymore." Seeing an available one in the distance, Ayane threw down the cigarette she had been smoking and ground it beneath her heel. "See you."

The blow caught her across the face and would have knocked her down if she had not grabbed hold of the bike rack next to her. Her face throbbed from where his hand had struck her, and vaguely she was aware of several passerby murmuring with embarrassment for her, though none of them stopped. Her ex spit in contempt, cursed at her, and disappeared.

Now her phone was buzzing _and_ ringing. Carefully she drew herself upright, and slowly drew a compact mirror out of her purse. Her upper lip was split and bleeding, and what looked like a bruise was beginning to form over her cheek. Licking the blood off her lip, Ayane sighed. _It could have been worse._

Ignoring the eyes of the passerby, she dug her phone out. Chizu. Picking up, she tried to sound normal. The taxi had stopped by the curb and the driver was peering curiously at her. She answered the phone as she got in, then covered the mouthpiece and told him her address, softly.

"Yano-chin? What's up? Sorry to interrupt your date, but I had a quick question about the assignment –"

"No, it's no problem," Ayane assured her. "You're not interrupting."

Pause. When Chizu spoke again, she sounded both concerned and suspicious. "What's going on?"

"What? Nothing." Inwardly Ayane cursed Chizu for finally acquiring the rudiments of a perceptive nature at the most inopportune time.

"Don't tell me 'nothing'; I know when something is wrong with you. Did something happen with Takeshi?"

Staring at her perfectly manicured nails on the hand curled in her lap, Ayane clenched her teeth. "We – I broke up with him."

"Oh." Now Chizu was the silent one. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine." Fighting back uncharacteristic and somewhat inexplicable tears, Ayane asked, on impulse:

"Chizu…would you like to come over? I'd like some company."

"Are you sure your parents won't mind?"

"It'll be fine. You should call Sadako, too, and see if she'd like to come. I still have some leftover beer from the case that jerk bought me last week. We'll celebrate my freedom. How does that sound?"

There was another pause of hesitation – this time, uncharacteristic of Chizu – before her usual, enthusiastic acceptance. "Great! We'll be there soon."

***

Chizu was waiting for her when the taxi pulled up to her house. Ayane managed to hide her face from her in the darkness of the evening as they went inside, chatting about nothing in particular, but once they got up to her room the taller girl began to become suspicious that Ayane wouldn't face her, and after she had dragged the hidden beer out from under her bed, seized her by the shoulder and somewhat roughly turned her around. Playfully, she jeered,

"Are you trying to hide something…"

She trailed off as her gaze focused on Ayane's cheek. As if in a daze, she reached out and touched her fingers to it, and then to her lips. The sensation was strange, and hurt a bit, but was not unpleasant, and Ayane wondered at bit at rough Chizu achieving a certain level of tenderness. When she met her friend's eyes, however, they were hard and unforgiving, transformed by a dark light which seemed to come from within.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, tonelessly.

Ayane shrugged. "You-know-who."

_Smack. _The unpleasant sound of flesh hitting flesh. Ayane observed, slightly shocked, as Chizu ground one fist into the palm of her other hand. "I'll wreck him."

"Chizu – "

"I'll tear him to pieces."

"Chizu-chan." Ayane said her name as gently as possible. "That's not necessary, okay?" Reaching down, she lifted a can and held it out to her friend. "Relax and have a beer with me."

For a second it looked as if Chizu wanted to say more, but there came a knock at the door of the bedroom, and Sawako's arrival distracted them both.

An hour or so passed. Though the atmosphere was uncomfortable at first, the beer soon loosened both Chizu and Ayane up, and seeing her friends relax, Sawako did so as well. They drank and talked of other things until finally the conversation came around to Ayane's breakup, after an innocent inquiry from Sawako. Ayane gave a brief, breezy recapitulation of the night's events, after which Chizu interjected her not so sober thoughts.

"The fact is, Yano-chin…" Chizu looked embarrassed, and rubbed the back of her head a little as she stared down into her beer. "I'm pretty glad you broke up with that guy."

"Oh, really?" Ayane rolled her eyes. "That was obvious. You're not confessing to anything."

"I'm really, really glad, though." She glanced over at Sawako, somewhat helplessly. The dark-haired girl colored and suddenly jumped up at the same time, and mumbling something about getting more snacks from the convenience store, rushed out.

"What's going on with her?" Ayane looked at Chizu quizzically. The bruise on her cheek had darkened to an angry blue splotch, and it pained the taller girl to look at it. Lifting herself up on her palms, she shifted closer to Ayane. "Chizu…?"

Chizu felt her heart clench with the closeness of her: the softness of her skin, felt briefly as their arms brushed; the scents of her hair and her perfume, cucumber and grapefruit, and underneath, the warm smell of her body, just Ayane. Chizu sensed Ayane's eyes on her, searchingly, and met them briefly. Ayane's eyes were the color of light coffee, and they caught the light from the dim bedside lamp and reflected it in golden bursts. Suddenly the words were coming out of Chizu's mouth more quickly than she intended, fueled by the alcohol percolating in her bloodstream:

"I'm really glad you broke up with him, because he's a jerk who doesn't deserve you, because you're smart and pretty and he was a loser, and too old for you, anyway, Yano-chin; I know you'll be mad at me for saying that and I know you can take care of yourself but if I could get my hands on him I swear I'd make him pay for hurting you and making you cry because, because you don't deserve any of that, to be treated the way treated you, he couldn't have if he really loved you, and I would never treat you that way, because I l – " Chizu swallowed, but refused to falter. "I like you, Ayane. More than anyone."

Ayane's jaw worked briefly, but she said nothing. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she folded her arms around them, and did not reply. Instead she stared somewhat stonily at the wall, setting her half-empty beer can down beside her as she did so.

Fearing complete rejection, and overwhelmed by the sequence of the night's events, tears gathered in Chizu's eyes. "I'm an idiot. A real demon. Please forgive me."

"Stupid." Lowly, so it could barely be heard.

"Wha –" Chizu flinched as Ayane reached over and cupped her chin in her hand.

Tilting her head to the side, Ayane's split upper lip quirked into a tiny smile. "So you really love me, eh, Chizuru?"

Screwing her eyes half-shut, and wiping furiously at her face, Chizu nodded as hard as she could with Ayane's hand on her chin.

"Hm. How about that." When Chizu opened her eyes again, Ayane had withdrawn her hand and her face loomed close. Chizu tried to look into her eyes, but at the close range the best she could do was flick her eyes from one to the other of Ayane's, helplessly trying to focus. Ayane seemed to sense what she was doing, and laughed softly.

And then kissed her.

Chizu felt her whole body tense sharply and then relax, like the swell and crest of an ocean wave. Ayane's lips were as soft and as practiced as Chizu had imagined. She could feel the split where Takeshi had hurt her, in her upper lip, and her brow furrowed briefly before Ayane nudged her tongue to part Chizu's lips and the latter gasped, surprise and pleasure mingling in the pit of her stomach. Though she'd imagined this, she'd never allowed her fantasies to run this far. Seeming to sense Chizu's hesitation, Ayane slowly broke the kiss and leaned back, smirking, though not without tenderness.

"You're not a demon."

It took some time for Chizu, her heart full, still barely daring to believe itself, was able to gather herself to reply. Just as she was about to speak, however, a slight commotion at the doorway drew the attention of both. It was Sawako, blushing a brilliant shade of crimson and fidgeting in a way that demonstrated to both of them that she'd seen at least the tail end of the kiss.

"Ah! Yano-san…Yoshida-san…excuse me! I'll be downstairs," Sawako said in a hushed and hurried whisper before she practically sprinted back down the stairs.

Terrified, Chizu turned to face Ayane, who put her face in her hands, sighed deeply, and then burst out laughing. Feeling relaxed at the sweet sound of her laughter, Chizu allowed herself to laugh as well. Ayane rubbed the corners of her eyes, delicately.

"What a night…now we've probably scared her off for good."

Grinning, Chizu shook her head. "I don't think so."

Ayane's sculpted eyebrows rose half an inch in astonishment. "Don't tell me that you – Chizu!"

She shrugged. "I guess you were wrong about me being able to keep secrets from you."

Ayane smiled, placing her hand on top of Chizu's, and the latter felt her heart leap again. "I guess so."

Downstairs, Sawako sat in the breezeway by the front door and cracked open a small can of coffee from the bag she'd bought at the store and began to sip it slowly. A feeling of contentment seemed to spread through her limbs. _Ayane-chan, Chizu-chan. I hope you'll be happy._ Sweet, simple thoughts from a sweet, simple girl.

Upstairs, Chizu's pulse raced as Ayane kissed her again, pressing her back against the bed.

In the morning, the fuzzy hold of the alcohol gone, Chizu knew there would be consequences to face, and she dreaded the parting of the clouds, the rising of the sun. For now, though, she allowed Ayane to kiss her, tentatively reciprocated. The kiss tasted like beer, and slightly metallic. Ayane's lip had started bleeding again. Trembling slightly, Chizu brushed her fingers over the bruise as they kissed, and felt her own dark, stony resolve redouble.

The house was silent in the night. Sawako sipped her coffee. Ayane ran her fingers through Chizu's hair and whispered her name. Ayane's parents shifted slightly in their sleep.

The singing of one cricket. The squeak of the tatami.

Her heart, Chizu realized, was racing.


End file.
